


You and Me Both

by LittlebutFiery



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: 5+1, F/M, I guess parts of this are T?, some Andromeda spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 15:46:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12345735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittlebutFiery/pseuds/LittlebutFiery
Summary: Tiran Kandros and Sara Ryder's relationship can be summed up in one phrase: "You and me both, Pathfinder."A 5+1 exploration of their relationship developing over the course of the game, from beginning to end.





	You and Me Both

“You look lost. Need something?” Kandros asked the quiet human who had wandered into the militia command center. She did indeed look very lost, looking around at her surroundings in awe and confusion.

“I think I’m in the right place,” the human replied, offering a somewhat nervous smile. “Do you know where I can find a Kandros? Director Tann told me to talk to him.”

“Right here,” Kandros said, amused. “Tiran Kandros, Director of Nexus Security, at your service.”

The woman immediately stuck out a hand to shake. “Pleasure. I’m Sara Ryder. Pathfinder. At your service.”

Kandros shook her hand, looking her up and down. She was small, bordering on scrawny, with raven-black hair tied back in a neat ponytail. He never understood how human fringes worked, with their ability to be in so many different shapes, colors, and lengths.

More amazing than humans’ bizarre fringes, though, was the immense power that radiated from Ryder. She didn’t even reach the middle of his breastbone, but there was clarity and wisdom in her pale blue eyes. They’d just met and hardly spoken, but Kandros knew he implicitly trusted her judgment.

His silence must have said something completely different, because Ryder sighed. “Yeah, I know. ‘ _ You’re the Pathfinder?’ _ I don’t know what Dad was thinking, but...here I am. Trying to make the most of it.”

“Apologies. Not every day you meet a Pathfinder. Little overwhelming,” Kandros said, not entirely untruthfully. “You said Tann wanted you to talk to me?”

“Yeah,” Ryder nodded with a smile. “I’m looking into the Rensus case. Tann told me you might be able to help.”

Kandros groaned, rubbing his face. What he wouldn’t do to just send Rensus flying out the damn airlock, to put a fucking  _ end _ to this spirits-cursed case.

“Nilken Rensus has been a damn curse ever since he came back from Eos. No one’s trusted the turians onboard since then, now that the first murderer in Andromeda is a turian,” Kandros grumbled.

“He might not be the murderer!” Ryder protested. “His wife said…”

“Look, I’ll tell you what I’ve told his wife at least a hundred times. That bastard is guilty. We proved it. We’re not taking it back,” Kandros scowled.

“Well, you might have to,” Ryder scowled right back. “Depends on what my investigation finds.”

Kandros had to admire Ryder’s courage - she was already proving to be doggedly persistent, even if she was naive. She certainly pulled no punches, not even with someone as (reluctantly) important as him. Kandros considered himself to be a pretty good turian - better than his cousin Nyreen at any rate - and a good turian might always follow orders, but that didn’t stop him from admiring those who didn’t.

Did he admit all this, the way his sister Calliope would have urged?

No, of course not. He was a good turian, not good with feelings. Instead he shrugged and rumbled, “Your funeral, then. We had a solid case. You’re not going to find anything to overturn that. Feel free to talk to him, if you want.”

“Thank you,” Ryder smiled, and spirits, it was dazzling. Kandros felt his heart skip a beat, and his admiration became the urge to help her.

“I’m also going to open up the evidence log we have, so you can go through it,” Kandros added, pulling up his omnitool. He nodded at the console behind Ryder. “It’s over there. Witness’s name is in there, too, if you want to talk to her.”

This brought an even bigger smile from Ryder, and Kandros’s heart began to race. Sara Ryder was certainly something - proud, persistent...and beautiful. Kandros couldn’t say he’d ever felt this way about any human he’d ever met before.

“Well, thanks for the help. I appreciate it. I ought to get going, though...duty calls, Kandros,” Ryder said.

Kandros’s mandibles quirked in a crooked smile as he nodded at the little human he was quickly developing a childish crush on. “You and me both, Pathfinder.”   
  


“Long time, no see, Pathfinder.”

“Kandros!” Ryder exclaimed, turning to seeing him step off a shuttle in Prodromos. She ran over to him, beaming. “Good to see you again! Been a while!”

Kandros nodded, offering a toothy grin. Spirits, it was good to see her again. She had been on Eos for what seemed like forever. “You gave me a lot of extra work, Ryder, with this new military outpost. And here I’d thought you were mad at me.”

“The safety of the colonists is priority number one,” Ryder replied, all seriousness again. “I had to make sure that we could defend Prodromos. I...wasn’t really thinking of the workload.”

“No one ever thinks of the little people,” Kandros said in mock dismay. Ryder laughed, and Kandros couldn’t help but smile again as his heart began its newly-familiar racing. “Your thoughts were valid. I’m glad you were thinking tactically. I was concerned when they wanted to make this outpost a purely scientific one.”

“I wish we could have started with a peaceful outpost, but...Andromeda isn’t anything like what we’d expected. I just want people to be safe,” Ryder sighed.

“You’ve got a good heart, Pathfinder,” Kandros said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. She leaned into the touch, making his breath catch in his throat. “I think I see why your father put you in charge.”

“It’s...good to hear that. It really is,” Ryder said sadly. “I just wish...Dad could be here to see all this. That things are going to get better.”

“We’ve got you. Of course they are,” Kandros said. Ryder laughed a little.

“Thanks, Kandros. We really ought to talk more,” Ryder said. She laughed again. “You and Kesh are the only politicians on the Nexus that I don’t want to strangle.”

“Duly noted,” Kandros chuckled. “I’ll just...pretend I didn’t hear that. For security, and all that.”

“How do you put up with it all?” Ryder asked.

“Kesh found me a bottle of Palavenian liquor,” Kandros replied. When Ryder snorted, he went on, “Really. It’s not easy dealing with Tann and Addison all day. Or Addison’s asshole assistant.”

“Well...thanks, Kandros. Because of you, I don’t have to deal with them that often. Makes it easier to...well, pathfind things,” Ryder said.

“At your service. Whatever I can do to make your life easier,” Kandros nodded. “After all, you’re the one getting us home.”

“It’s nice to be appreciated,” Ryder smiled.

“It’s rare in our line of work,” Kandros chuckled. “Don’t get used to it.”

“I’ll try not to,” Ryder laughed.

They were quiet a while, admiring the hustle and bustle of colonists and workers setting up Prodromos. Finally Ryder said, “Kandros, what brought you to Andromeda? I never asked you when we met.”

“I come from a long line of military lifers,” Kandros replied, touched that Ryder cared enough to ask. “I wanted something different that  _ wouldn’t _ tarnish the family name...so that ruled out merc work. I heard about the Initiative and thought ‘why the hell not?’”

“And yet here you are...in charge of the militia and security forces,” Ryder sounded amused.

Kandros laughed, drawing a smile from Ryder. “Guess some things you can’t escape, even if you cross deep space.”

“Damn right,” Ryder agreed. “Dad couldn’t escape the reputation he got from making SAM, even by coming here.”

There was an awkward silence for a moment - Kandros was not known for being in-touch with his sensitive side. Finally he managed, “I’m sorry about your father, Pathfinder. He seemed like a good man.”

“He was,” Ryder nodded. “He had his faults, but he loved Scott, Mom, and I. Even if he never said it.”

They were quiet again before Ryder went on, “You probably have things to do. Didn’t mean to get all touchy-feely.”

“It’s not a problem,” Kandros replied, hoping his subvocals said what he wouldn’t put into words - that he  _ liked _ this kind of emotional intimacy, that he cared about her feelings and thoughts. “I’m sure you have work to do as well.”

Ryder nodded and sighed. “Addison wants me and Mayor Bradley to give some kind of speech. Duty calls.”

“You and me both, Pathfinder,” Kandros agreed.

 

Soon it seemed like Ryder was coming by after every mission that brought her near the Nexus, spending hours in Operations with either Kesh or (more often) Kandros. She always apologized for bothering him, explained that sometimes it was nice to see a friendly face from somewhere besides the Tempest. He always waved off her concerns, but refused to admit - even to himself - that he was overjoyed to be spending time with her.

Then, the Moshae happened.

Ryder came into the militia office in a holy rage, her face red with anger and her teeth bared in a snarl. Her uniform was still defrosting from Voeld, patches of ice covering it here and there.

“Nomad break down again?” Kandros joked, trying to soothe her anger.

Ryder responded by throwing a table clear across the room with her biotics. She hissed, “What do you know about the kett?”

“Er…” Kandros stammered, caught off-guard. “They’re nasty sons of bitches, kidnap angara, kill us for no reason.”

“You clearly haven’t read my debriefing yet, then,” Ryder’s voice was tinged with malice.

Kandros sighed - this wasn’t going well. “No. Been in a meeting with Spender all morning. Bastard.”

“Spender is  _ nothing _ compared to the kett!” Ryder yelled, blue eyes blazing.

“What happened on Voeld?” Kandros demanded.

Ryder paused and took a shaky breath, her hands clenched in trembling fists.

“The kett,” Ryder’s voice was a furious whisper, her teeth clenched together. “They take angara and...turn them into kett. They call it ‘exaltation.’ It’s despicable.”

“Spirits,” Kandros agreed, stunned.

“We...watched it happen. We couldn’t save him, even though we tried. Once they exalt you, you’re not...you’re not you anymore,” Ryder went on.

“Just another reason we have to win, then,” Kandros said.

“Don’t you get it? Half the kett we’re killing were probably angara! Maybe even human, or turian...who knows?” Ryder snapped. “We’re fighting our own allies! It’s...wrong!”

“You said yourself that they become kett through this... _ exaltation _ . They’re no longer our allies - even if they didn’t want to be our enemies,” Kandros replied, trying to calm Ryder’s fierce anger.

Ryder took a breath to argue, but simply sighed, sat down in Kandros’s chair heavily, and began to cry. “It’s all wrong, Kandros. The angara have to kill creatures that used to be their friends. It’s so wrong.”

Kandros came to stand beside her, a gentle hand around her shoulders. “My people would call you  _ cordibus _ , Ryder.”

“What’s that mean?” Ryder managed through her tears.

“Kind-hearted. You wear your emotions on your sleeve,” Kandros replied. When Ryder sighed in shame, he shook his head. “It’s not a weakness. We need someone who isn’t emotionally constipated around here. Glad it’s you.”

This dragged a laugh from Ryder. “Dad always said feeling too much was a weakness. But then again, I guess he had the same one - about Mom.”

“He was wrong,” Kandros insisted. “I think it’s your strength. Tann might be the brains of the Initiative, and Addison might be whatever that useless human organ is called…”

“What, our appendix?” Ryder asked, after a long silence searching for a ‘useless’ organ.

“Right. Tann is the brains, Addison’s the appendix, Kesh and I are the muscle...but you’re the heart, Pathfinder,” Kandros went on. “We were lost before you got here. We’d be lost if anything ever happened to you. So...stay safe.”

_ For me, if no one else. _

Ryder smiled up at him. “Thanks. You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

“I try,” Kandros smirked.

“I need to have a meeting with Tann and Bradley about the kett,” Ryder sighed. “I should get going. Duty calls, Kandros.”

“You and me both, Pathfinder,” Kandros nodded, reluctantly removing his gentle grip on her shoulder.

His hand, and his heart, felt warm the rest of the day.

 

Kandros glanced at the clock.

Midnight, it read, in stark digital numbers.

He sighed, pouring more purple liquid into his cup. It had been a long, brutal night, full of reports of the death and destruction onboard the  _ Natanus _ . He couldn’t take it anymore, not without the aid of alcohol. Kesh had watered down a bottle of her favorite ryncol and silently left it on his desk when she heard the news.

Fuck, he didn’t think he’d take it so hard. He knew the Ark had likely hit bad times when it didn’t show up when it was supposed to. He’d known it was a disaster when they found part of the  _ Natanus _ on Havarl. And yet, somehow, this hit him like it was a complete surprise.

The turian ark had been all but obliterated.

Countless turians were dead, along with Macen...his cousin and childhood friend. Macen’s death was like a bloodraging krogan’s punch to the gut, an insult added to the already-deep injury. Kandros had yet to see how Avitus was doing, but he knew it was bad. If Kandros loved Sara Ryder, as he was pretty sure he did, he couldn’t even imagine a word to describe how much Avitus loved Macen.

The lights turned off suddenly, causing Kandros to sigh again. He’d been at his desk for so long, unmoving, as he read the names and ranks of the dead, that even the ship thought he wasn’t there.

He couldn’t bring himself to get up and turn them on, so he continued to sit in the dark. It felt comforting, somehow, to be able to weep for his lost people in darkness, instead of in the harsh fluorescent lights of the ship.

Then, even more suddenly, they came back on.

“Kandros?” it was a soft female voice, one that generally made Kandros’s heart sing. Today, it couldn’t touch the void that was inside of him.

“Pathfinder. You need some rest after your mission, I’d think,” Kandros managed, his voice rough from hours of not speaking.

“Some missions don’t let you rest after them,” Ryder replied in a ghost of a whisper. Her quiet footsteps were louder than her words as she crossed the room to stand at his desk. “I think you understand.”

Kandros was silent. Ryder went on, “I thought exaltation was bad. I...didn’t sleep after that mission, either. But seeing the Ark...seeing all the cryo pods that won’t ever open...I…”

A sharp sob broke her train of thought. She pressed still-bloody hands to her face, as if to hold in the tears, though Kandros could see how the drops sparkled and shone as they fell to the floor.

Somehow, for the first time in hours, he heaved himself up from his desk, crossing the room in a few unsteady steps, pulling Ryder into his chest with gentle arms. She threw her arms around his broad chest, howling into his armor as if that could bring back everyone she’d lost.

“It’s...it’s not f-fair!” Ryder screamed, pounding a fist against his armor as she did so.

“It’s not,” Kandros agreed.

“Then why?” Ryder cried, hitting him again.

“I don’t know,” Kandros said.

“I...I hate everything about this  _ fucking _ galaxy!” she sobbed, her whole body wracked with tremors. “I used to believe in a merciful God. Now I don’t believe in anything!”

Kandros was quiet, letting Ryder howl and scream and uselessly hit his armor over and over for what felt like hours. After a long, long time, she finally quieted, dropping to her knees and hugging herself feebly.

He sat beside her, pulling her close again with one arm. She whimpered, “I’m...I’m sorry, Kandros. That was a lot.”

“When my sister and I were young, our mother would tell us that feelings are meant to be shared. Don’t be sorry,” Kandros replied.

“You’re going through this, probably even worse than I am,” Ryder looked abashed. “They were your people.”

“You’re my people too,” Kandros said instead. “You’re one of us, Pathfinder. I’m just glad you came back in one piece, and you saved as many of them as you could.”

Ryder was quiet, so the pair sat there for a long time in silence. It was a comfortable sort of silence, the kind which good friends share, but it had a mournful note, as if silence was the only way they could truly express their grief over the  _ Natanus’ _ s fate.

When the first of the morning staff began to report, Ryder finally said, her voice dull and thin, “I should probably go get started on today’s work. Duty calls, Kandros.”

Kandros looked up at his desk, at the stack of datapads which still held reports on the dead. “You and me both, Pathfinder.”   
  


“Pathfinder,” Kandros stood when Ryder walked into his office. Something was off about her demeanor - usually she greeted him with a smile, maybe a hug, but never a frown.

“Kandros,” Ryder nodded.

“I hear you’re heading out on quite the expedition,” Kandros said, awkwardly. Of course she was - she was going to defeat the Archon once and for all. What a stupid thing to say.

“Something like that,” Ryder agreed, equally uncomfortably.

They stood there in the most painful silence of Kandros’s life before Ryder went on, “I never asked for any of this.”

“And yet here you are. Leading us all home,” Kandros said.

“...maybe. I hope,” Ryder sounded unsure. “I just...don’t know if I’m the right person for this.”

Kandros couldn’t help but laugh. “What makes you say that?”

“I’m not a leader, like Dad was. I’m not even that good a shot, like Scott. I’m not as smart as Mom. I’m just…” Ryder trailed off.

“You’re you,” Kandros replied fervently, hoping she would hear the depth of his devotion to her in his subvocals. “Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, Pathfinder. You’re you, and no one can change that. No one should want to. Your mother built SAM, your father built the Initiative, but this...you’ve built us a new world. A  _ home _ .”

“I don’t know if I can finish what I’ve started,” Ryder mumbled. “With Meridian, and the Archon…”

“If anyone can, it’s you,” Kandros said firmly. He walked around his desk to stand in front of her, gently lifting her chin so she looked him in the eyes. “I believe in you, Pathfinder.”

Ryder hugged Kandros tightly, with as much fierce emotion as the night after the  _ Natanus _ had been found. She said into his chestplate, “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Kandros. You’ve always had my back.”

“Always will,” Kandros’s mandibles spread in a smile. “I’m coming on this mission too. Aerial support for you.”

“What?” Ryder recoiled, pulling away.

“Can’t have the Pathfinder get all the glory, now, can we?” Kandros smirked.

“I don’t want anyone else on this mission!” Ryder protested, eyes big with fear. “That’s just more people that’ll get hurt!”

“I’m a better pilot than you give me credit,” Kandros said, hurt.

“No. N-no. This is wrong. This is all wrong. This is  _ my _ mission. It’s bad enough that I have to endanger my crew, but not you too!” Ryder shook her head, taking a step back.

“We need to stop the Archon, no matter the cost. If we lost lives, we lose them. There’s an old turian saying - I think in one of your human languages it translates as  _ dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori _ . Sweet and fitting to die for one’s country. And every one of us coming on this mission knows that to our bones. Either we fight the Archon and maybe die, or don’t fight and definitely die,” Kandros replied firmly. “Don’t worry about us, Pathfinder.”

“I can’t not worry about you,” Ryder whispered, blue eyes meeting Kandros’s own. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, Kandros. You’re my closest friend.”

“Just another reason to get out alive, then,” Kandros said, aiming for brash courage and somewhat succeeding, though it clearly didn’t reassure Ryder.

“I have to get back to the ship, but...be careful, Kandros,” Ryder said softly, pressing a kiss to Kandros’s mandible. “Duty calls.”

With this, she ran back towards the Tempest’s docking bay.

“You and me both...Pathfinder,” Kandros murmured, a hand to where Ryder had pressed soft lips against rough skin.

 

“And I was like, ‘fuck you, Archon!’” Scott drunkenly proclaimed to a gaggle of admiring women, several weeks after the establishment of Port Meridian.

“He’s clearly recovered,” Kandros remarked to Ryder, who handed him a drink.

“Yeah...he’s a quick healer,” Ryder chuckled. “Let him have his fun. After what he went through with the Archon, I think he deserves it.”

Kandros nodded. “What about you?”

“There’s always work for a Pathfinder. Not sure I’ll ever get to have fun again,” Ryder shook her head.

Kandros tossed down his drink and flagged down the bartender for another round. “You’ve founded the first human colony and restored plenty of other worlds. I say, fuck what anyone else has to say, and have your fun.”

“A turian, encouraging dereliction of duty?” Ryder gasped in mock surprise. “I guess I must’ve died fighting the Archon after all!”

Kandros laughed. “When I said have your fun, I didn’t mean at my expense.”

Ryder giggled. “Sorry, Kandros.”

They were both quiet, watching the party around them in the Vortex. It was a VIP-only event, thrown by Peebee in celebration of her newest Remnant breakthrough, but that hadn’t stopped anyone from getting completely shitfaced. Drack, Kesh, and Vorn were midway through a rousing game of Firebreathing Thresher Maws of Doom, while hostess herself was all but blacked-out in a booth in the corner of the bar.

“I never thought I’d get to see a party again,” Kandros commented, as Liam staggered by with an asari on his arm.

“Not much of a partier?” Ryder asked, finishing her second drink and starting her third.

“Well...no,” Kandros admitted. “But...to see people on the Nexus  _ laughing _ again...to see so much life...I never thought I’d see it. And this is all because of you.”

Ryder waved him off, blushing furiously. “I had help. Like you.”

“I didn’t do much for you, Pathfinder,” Kandros shook his head, unwilling to admit that a blue blush was creeping up to his face as well.

“Bullshit, and we both know it,” Ryder scowled. She paused, frowned, and said, words a little slurred, “You still call me Pathfinder.”

“Well...yes,” Kandros agreed, his own thoughts muddled by drink number four. “You’re the Pathfinder.”

“We’ve been through a lot together,” Ryder said, taking a stumbly step towards him. “I’d think we’d be past formalities by now.”

“The Hierarchy beats rank into you until you can’t ignore it anymore,” Kandros shook his head. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get past formalities.”

Ryder stumbled even closer to him, finishing her own drink and tossing it aside. Spirits, she was beautiful, her cheeks red from the booze, her eyes bluer than ever against her dark hair. The way she looked at him...Kandros couldn’t want anything else. Especially not in that moment, feeling her warmth against him, despite her cold hand from the drink she’d been holding.

He couldn’t help himself.

Kandros leaned down and pressed what he hoped was a good facsimile of a human kiss to her scarlet lips. Ryder kissed back, throwing her arms up around his neck, pulling him closer and closer until he was nearly bent double.

When she finally released him, there was a mischievous glint in her eyes as she smirked, “Right. Those formalities really keep you in line.”

“Maybe I need to teach  _ you _ a little respect,” Kandros rumbled back, gently nipping at her jawline. She shuddered.

“I think this time, instead of duty calling, my room is calling,” Ryder replied, a little breathlessly. She started to head for her quarters, all but dragging Kandros along behind her.

Kandros smiled a giant toothy smile. “You and me both...Sara.”


End file.
